1:59 p.m. - 2004-12-25
Ho ho ho
Merry Christmas, dear reader, and a Happy New Year.
I promise more frequent updates in the coming months.
Maybe.
Have a good one, everyone!
3:36 p.m. - 2004-11-24
this is your house invasion on drugs
Did you hear about the Osbornes� latest drama? The poor couple's London home was broken into while they slept and the theives ran away with all their precious jewellery. Two Million pounds worth, including Sharon's invaluable 10 Karat diamond wedding ring. They held a press conference the next day, I suppose so that the world could collectively let out a sigh of relief that the prince of darkness and his bride weren't hurt by the big bad burglars.
Big #%!*ing boo hoo, you fat English sucks.
Mrs. O told the reporters that the people out in the real world might be telling themselves something along the lines of "well, they're so rich, they don't need all that expensive stuff, big freakin` deal", to which she replied, "we worked hard for everything that we got, and when someone who doesn't work tries to take that, it Pisses Me Off."
I really wish I'd been at that conference, because I might then have been given the chance to knock the rich bitch off her high horse for a moment. I got news for you, missy, there are millions upon millions of people in this world who work hard, harder than anything you or your demon spawn will ever have to contend with, every day of their lives, and when their houses get broken into (and they do, despite the lack of outlandish wealth and extravagant self-indulgence) they don't get insurance companies to offer a �100,000 reward for the return of their crap, they suck it up and get on with their lives. So I offer some advice to you: shut the Hell up and deal with it.
I hate rich people.
There was one part of the story that gave me a chuckle, however. The news report mentioned that Ozzy had grappled with one of the intruders before he fled through a window with the goods. The reporter stated "Ozzy looked visibly shaken when he described his collision with the intruder."
Shaken?
I sincerely doubt a tyrannosaurus Rex stampeding directly at him could even make the Prince of Darkness twitch. The man has clearly wreaked so much havoc on his brain cells that it's highly unlikely he even comprehended what was going on while he "grappled." He probably thought it was some kind of acid flashback to a long forgotten concert. He was just trying to give the thief his autograph.
Dear Robber,
You %#$*ing rock.
Ozzy
