11:40 p.m. - 2004-03-16
A hitchhikers guide to absolutely nothing
Bro Dave left for England tonight. He�s off to new and interesting things in a foreign land with his girlfriend. I say good luck to him. Pip pip, cheerio and all that.
We�d been getting along these past couple of months. Hanging out, watching movies and going for beers. It was like we were friends or something strange like that. He was always so frustrating, leaving the kitchen a big mess all of the time, stealing my food or refusing to clear his beard whiskers off of the bathroom counter, that I thought I wanted him out of our apartment as soon as possible. But, funny thing, I kind of miss him.
Now, I�m sitting all alone in this very large apartment for two, feeling pretty lonely and trying to figure out the exact point at which everything and everyone around me decided to change. And without even consulting me first.
I suppose I understand that change is inevitable, that everything is moving forwards, that life is a cycle and all of that other crap. But it seems to me that, when you�re stuck in the same spot you�ve been in for about a thousand years, it is entirely unfair of the world around you to go right along progressing and changing and moving forward. Doesn�t it realize that it�s leaving you behind?
I feel like a hitchhiker on the road of life. My bags are packed and I�m ready to go, but I�ve got to wait for someone or something to stop and pick me up. Until then, I�m just some schmuck at the side of the road waving a thumb�s up sign to passers-by.
And so, in these dark, depressing and utterly desolate moments, I find some solace in the wise words of Tony Soprano,
"What�re ya gonna do?"
Because, in the end, that�s just it. What am I going to do? I have no control over the lives of the people around me. I can�t hold them back or push them forward at my whimsy. There�s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is sit here, in my large, dark apartment for two, and wait for someone to open their door and offer me a ride.
