4:46 p.m. - 2003-11-13
can't work: surfing.
Note to self: must do something slightly work-related before leaving office today.
2:36 p.m. - 2003-11-13
the highs and lows of nine to five
The last day of work has been set. December 5th will be the end of my full-time tenure at the folks� office.
This could explain the unusually good mood I�m in today.
I went out last night. I went out hard. I know that should be a responsible 9 to 5er and not stumble in the door at 3:30 in the morning when I have to be at work in just over 5 hours. It�s just that I don�t want to go home so freaking early. So what if it�s Wednesday? Wednesday is a perfectly good going out night, as good as Friday or Saturday. They just get all the good press.
In any event, I�m under-slept and over-drinked this morning. Normally, this would cause me to lock the door to my office and shun the light of the sun. But not today. Today is different because the end is in sight. I can screw up and goof off all I want now. Cause what are they gonna do?
Fire me?
Fact is, they know and I know (actually, the whole friggin� office knows), that my responsibilities here never really end. You could say I�ve been working at the place since I was 13, when I would stop by after school to photocopy and wash dishes. Since then, I�ve always been the off-hours administrator � the one who gets called in for proofreading until 1 in the morning and typing on weekends when the �real� staff are at home, enjoying their time off. I may not be here from 9 to 5 anymore, but between 5 to 9, I�m on call. Why do you think they pay for my cellphone? Because it�s less obvious than a beeper.
I�m not saying that I mind, however. They pay me for this extra work and they pay me well. And, the extra cash is quite a bonus for tougher financial times. I guess the point is I�ll never really leave this place.
I think I just lost my good mood.
12:00 p.m. - 2003-11-10
I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid...
Friday night was Daddy Daughter Drinking night for me. In case you were curious, it is exactly how it sounds - my dad and I bar hop around with the purpose of getting ourselves inebriated. We�ve been doing this since I was 19 when my dad couldn�t make it out for my official birthday celebrations. In compensation, we began the Daddy Daughter Drinking night tradition. It doesn�t happen that often, but when it does, it�s a good time.
So, Friday night, my dad I drank our way into some very good conversation. We talked a lot about my life and its direction or, more specifically, its lack thereof. I came to the conclusion that night that my career aspirations are akin to something of a squirrel�s interest in shiny objects. Fleeting and somewhat fruitless. Truth is, I could see myself doing a lot of different things in life � I have an interest in all of them. Problem is, I gain and lose interest in things very easily. My last career thought (which had something to do with Physics, a topic of study I�ve had nothing to do with for over 8 years) was prompted by this book, which I highly recommend, by the way. Is it wise to base one�s life changing decisions on a funny travel writer�s thoughts on the sciences? Ehn�
I�ve been feeling rushed about it all. I told my dad that I felt old, and he laughed his newly-made-a-grampa�s butt off. That certainly put things into perspective. I suppose the more appropriate statement would be that I feel immature. I feel completely incapable of making grown-up decisions. I feel completely unready to accept the fact that I really am�an adult.
Shudder.
So, I�ve decided that I�m going to put off accepting that fact for a little while longer. My dad has convinced me that I don�t need to make a decision right away and, while I suspect that I will need to be reminded of this from time to time, I�m going to take his advice to heart. In the meantime, I�m going to devote my efforts to trying different things. I think I�d like to start writing more. I�ve always had ideas for movies, plays, short stories, etc. I�ve just never bothered to put them on paper. I may get back into improv � I really do miss it and I wasn�t so bad at it either. I think I may take a correspondence course in physics, just to see if I was crazy to think that I could ever do it for a lifetime.
I�m also going to make it my personal mission to convince my brother, sister-in-law and niece to move to Canada.
(Psst! Check out the new pictures!)
