9:56 a.m. - 2003-07-18
He makes me laugh...
Alright, screw my being funny, I'm just going to find other people who are really funny and use them to make me seem more funny. Funnier. More Funny.
Dig it?
On that note, you have to check out This Guy.
Truly a PhotoShop master.
2:16 p.m. - 2003-07-17
Funny stuff
I need to be more funny.
I�ve really been enjoying the whole �Diaryland Experince� lately. I suppose it has a lot to do with the free time I have at work and the fact that I can quickly minimize anything too incriminating before I get caught not doing �Work�. So, I�ve been reading a lot of diaries in my �Spare Time�. Random ones. The banners at the top of the member�s area are quite convenient for this, although I think This Chick has about a million different banners running at the moment. I swear one out of every five is her�and she just got free advertising from me. Lucky bastard.
But funny. I�m enjoying the funny logs more so than the un-funny ones. Un-funny consisting of:
a) those who complain too much
b) those who philosophize or romanticize too much
c) those who don�t update for weeks on end, and
d) those who merely do a play by play of their day, without the slightest bit of wittiness or sarcasm (�then I had a cup of coffee. It was hot, kind of. Then I drove to work. Nothing happened. Then I�)
So, I need to be more funny. Funnier. More funny. I also need to brush up on my English grammar.
I�m trying to do the banner thing myself. I figure, why have an online journal if no one is ever going to read it? All right, so my friends will, which is great and wonderful and I�ll still say hi to y�all once in a while, but I want a larger audience than the three of you. Sorry.
I�ve got this fantasy. Ok, it�s more of a slight daydream that comes when I�m fiddling around with my HTML. I want to be a recognized �web logger� or whatever you want to call it. I want to be on more than 2 people�s buddy list. I want people to link to my site and be �Like, oh my god, this wakko chick is sooooo funny, and she is just, like, sooooo cool and I just want to, like, beeeee like her�. I just want to Popular, is that so wrong?
So, I�m going to be funnier. More funny. Funnier.
Anyone got any jokes?
Speaking of funnier, more funny and funniest�check out this guy. He�s Funny.
2:47 p.m. - 2003-07-16
Disconnected thoughts for a disconnected generation
I was watching �Pump Up the Volume� the other day. That�s right, the classic 90s tale about the voice of a disappointed and disconnected generation of teenagers was playing on my folks� big screen while I did laundry. And it made me think a whole lot of weird and wacky and possibly disturbing thoughts.
See, not too long ago, I was having a conversation about the movie with a couple of friends. It was all about Teen Angst; what ours was like when we were teenagers and how we don�t really have that anymore. Karen mentioned that, when she was a teenager and saw the movie for the first time, she had identified with it and it was just the truest thing since sliced bread. But now, a few years later, into our 20s and without a clue, it seemed false and contrived and she couldn�t believe she had ever thought that it had Spoken to her.
We chuckled. Weren�t we just the most na�ve things back then? A-ha-ha-ha.
So, when I saw the movie pop up on my satellite guide, I thought �What the heck�. Let�s give 90s pretentious cheese a chance for the afternoon. Maybe I�ll get another good chuckle.
Problem is, I found myself identifying with the movie all over again.
People are lonely. People are afraid to be something other than what is expected of them. People do need to go against the grain sometime and just freak out. People do terrible things and the people who suffer just have to deal. It�s cheese, I admit, but there�s truth there. As pathetic as I feel for admitting it. Christian Slater � not the guy I want as a spokesperson for my mental trappings.
But this brought on a deeper realization, and here comes the disturbing part of the thought process.
What if I�m still just a teenager?
Alright, biologically � no. I�m not a teenager. The beginnings of wrinkles and decapacitated smokers� lungs will attest to that. But mentally, personality, even, dare I say it, spiritually, maybe I really haven�t matured that much. It�s all the same insecurities and fears that I�ve always had, that have always held me back in one form or another.
So maybe I�ve gotten a lot better at suppressing them - packing them down into a tight, little ball of anger and frustration in the pit of my stomach that will one day explode into a violent rage on top of a bell-tower. But it�s there, deep inside, and can only be brought into the light by a fast-talking, rebellious pirate radio DJ. That�s sad. Especially considering I�ve recently been lamenting the fact that I�m getting old. The big 2-5 (and I don�t care what anyone says, it�s big) is just around the corner, and I�m staring to feel like I�ve reached the top of the hill and it�s all gravity from here.
This is definitely not helping the whole �I have no goals in life� crisis I�ve been experiencing for the last year or so.
On the other hand, maybe the movie just got me on a bad day. Maybe I was just feeling like being a teenager again, because, when all is said and done, I miss it. Whatever crap I went through back then, whatever all-consuming problems I may have thought I had at the time, it�s nothing compared to being an adult.
In short, I have come to the conclusion that being an adult kind of bites.
