2:02 p.m. - 2001-01-31
the human being's capacity for stupidity
I suppose it�s about time that I update this here web journal. So, here goes.
Actual comments/questions from customers I�ve served at the Fish House (with snarky responses that I would have rather given):
"Do you have any water?"
Response: No, we�re all out of that today, how about a nice Chardonnay instead?
"I�m extremely allergic to shellfish and seafood. What can I eat here?"
Response: Nothing, go to the Keg.
(After leaving me 5 dollars on a 100 dollar bill) "Thank you so much for the lovely service."
Response: I�ll be sure to tell that to the VISA people when they�re repossessing my car, you cheap bastard.
Me: "How are you doing tonight, sir?"
Sir: "Not good, we�ve been waiting 30 minutes for our reservation and to tell you the truth, your manager is an asshole."
Response: Laugh my ass off and agree wholeheartedly.
Me: "Can I get you something to drink?"
Them: "No, I think we�ll just have a water."
Response: When exactly did water cease to be considered a beverage, moron?
(Upon being served the Bouillabaisse) "I didn�t realize this had mussels. I�m allergic to mussels."
Response: Well, sir, I do apologize for not reading your mind and instead assuming that you might read the contents of the Bouillabaisse before ordering which are clearly stated on the menu you were looking at for half an hour, you illiterate dickwad.
