3:58 p.m. - 2003-02-19
really real?
I am about to say something that will reveal a dirty little secret of mine.
Damn straight Evan chose Zora.
That�s right, folks. I, the most unrelentingly cynical of reality-television viewers, was taken in by Joe Millionaire. Not that I watched the whole season, mind you, but the last couple of episodes managed to peak my curiosity enough that I wasted 3 hours of my viewing life on it. And what a waste it was.
Joe Millionaire has utterly reaffirmed my contempt for the schlocky reality �love show�. I have tried, in the past, to find some enjoyment from shows like �Blind Date�, �5th Wheel�, �Elimidate� and other assorted dating programs, but the truth is, the matches are so contrived and the dates so forced, that any sense of it being natural or spontaneous is completely eroded.
Shows like �The Bachelor� never even rated a second glance from me, the concept of finding true love on national television being so ridiculous. Besides, all the �interviews� and �analysis� that one is subjected to feels more like neurotic self-involvement on the part of the character than open discourse on their feelings and reactions.
I was appalled at the mere suggestion of �Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire�, and thus made a point of avoiding the FOX Television on that particular evening. But perhaps that�s why infamous Joe Millionaire finally caught my interest. In many ways, it was a sugar-coated, more drawn out version of the original. A car accident I could watch without losing too much self-respect. And, it had a twist.
Iit was that twist that caught me.
I wanted to see what would happen when average Joe (hunky, construction worker Evan) told his soon-to-be sweetheart (angelic, good hearted Zora) that he was, in fact, not a millionaire. I wanted to see the reaction from at least one of the women who had spent the last month (and basically their dignity on) shamelessly trying to get the attention of a man with a million bucks. Oh, what justice would have come to fruition in that moment. The money-grubbing chick getting the disappointment of her life, and the deceiving hunk getting dumped in front of millions of eligible bachelorettes.
Boy, was I wrong.
Evan�s admission of poverty was about as exciting as watching the fishing channel. I don�t believe Zora even batted an eyelash when she heard the news. When it was all over, I thought I might have blinked and missed the good stuff. I wanted fireworks, but what I got was barely a lit match.
Instead, the show spiraled into a cheesy fairy-tale ending where everything turned out hunky-dory for all those involved. The �surprise ending� of a million dollars to the happy couple was enough to make me run to the toilet for fear of losing my dinner.
In the end, I berated myself for looking ahead to anything more. I realized I was duped into thinking that something exciting and unexpected would actually air on �reality television�. I returned to my original doubts that anything and everything on the show is probably scripted, though the dialogue is ad-libbed. The producers and the public wanted a happy ending, and that�s what they got. The reality is, reality television will always be a disappointment.
