11:10 p.m. - 2003-02-17
arg
Is it wrong of me to expect fairness in this world? Am I really just a naive simpleton when I get angry about the injustices, whether large or small, that occur all around me? Should I give up, accept that the world is an unfair place, and back stab, cheat and lie to get my fair share?
Because I'm starting to wonder.
People tell me that I am a passionate person. I recognize this as a polite way of saying that I get angry or frustrated quickly, and it's usually fairly evident. I am, by nature, a vocal person. I really do have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about things that make me mad and, unfortunately, a lot of things make me mad.
The Irag-US war situation makes me mad. Stupid drivers make me mad. Ignorant, racist, sexist people make me mad. And the list could go on and on. But one of the things that just gets my blood boiling is when I believe I am, to use an apt colloquialism, being given the shaft.
Where I work, I get the shaft time and time again. While you might not expect it from a restaurant that specializes in fish, there are a lot of politics that go on there. For some, it gives them an advantage. For others, it really doesn't. There is a lot of unfairness at that place, and it makes me angry.
But I ask you, dear reader, what is the solution?
In the past, I�ve let my dissatisfaction read clearly on my face and body language. It�s what I do. It may seem a selfish and irrational thing, but I can�t help but feel that when something is wrong, the person who is responsible for it should know it. Why should they get away with it, when I�m getting screwed in the process? This strategy, however, doesn�t seem to have worked all that well in my current situation. At work, all my managers see is a discontent, grumpy employee who whines about not getting everything she wants. Subsequently, they feel no desire to do anything that they might deem �nice� for me (please note that something �nice� would actually constitute a more reasonable and fair situation, the lack of which has upset me in the first place).
Well, then, you might think that being a happy-go-lucky, I love my job kind of employee would get me some justice. But you would be wrong. Happy-go-luckyness is, apparently, read as complacency. As long as I don�t complain, they can keep things as the way they are without recrimination.
Thus, either way, I�m up shit�s creek.
I don�t know what the answer to my particular situation is, but I can tell you that I have learned a few things from this experience. The first is that wearing your heart on your sleeve does nothing for you. As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than by giving them the cold shoulder. As much as I may feel that the object of my wrath totally deserves it, it gets me no where.
On the reverse side of that, doing nothing won�t do you a hell of a lot of good either. As cynical as it may sound, the sad truth is people will take advantage of you if you give them the opportunity.
Somewhere in the middle there, there has to be a happy medium. I just have yet to find it.
Any suggestions?
