9:16 a.m. - 2003-09-24
....oops.
I forgot my nicotine patch today.
It could be a very interesting day at work.
Shiver....
11:12 a.m. - 2003-09-18
Nicotine, nicotine, nicotine, nicotine...
Day�Four.
Still going strong. Well, still going anyway. The campaign to quite the nasty, bad breath habit of smoking has not yet been abandoned. It�s just not getting any easier.
I was walking out of a store with Kristen on Tuesday when we happened to pass a guy taking a smoke break. I think my sense of smell has been heightened 400% since I stopped quitting�but only to the smell of a cigarette. It was the first taste I�d had of the stuff in 48 hours. As we walked past, I found myself taking four or five deep breaths just to get a whiff of the guy�s second hand smoke. It smelled sooooooooo good. I know it sounds pathetic, but I�m sure there are exes out there who can sympathize with me. I hope so, anyway.
But the most infuriating thing about this situation is that it keeps catching me by surprise. To illustrate:
�Maybe I�ll go outside and have a�D�oh!�
�You know what would go so good after this Big Mac�Gah!�
�I�m bored, I think I�ll have a�ARG!�
It�s not just a physical addiction, it�s a habit. I�m a nun without her headgear. And all I can think to do in compensation is eat. I had to pick up a bag of baby carrots yesterday just so that I would have something to continually munch on. If I�m not careful, I�m going to turn into a rabbit. Or Louis Anderson�fat, cynical and not all that funny. Neither sounds that appealing right now.
4:53 p.m. - 2003-09-16
no smoke for you!
I haven�t had a cigarette in approximately 42 hours.
That�s right, folks, I�m trying to quit to smoking. I emphasize the word �trying� because, although I�ve officially gone longer without a cigarette than I have in over 7 years, I�ve still got the nicotine rolling around in my bloodstream. I�m on the patch, and let us all thank the sweet merciful people at Nicoderm for that. The alternative being a very bitchy and hard to get along with me.
As luck would have it, things have come together to provide a very good environment for me to attempt my quitting. I�m relatively busy at work, so no sitting around, twiddling my thumbs and waiting for my next smoke break. That would have been torture.
My parents are out of town until Thursday, so no need for daily updates:
Mom: �Hey Lauren, how�s the quitting going?�
Me: �Shut up.�
And the wonderful people at the Fish have deemed it appropriate to give me no work shifts at all this week. While this annoyed me to no end at first, it�s probably just as well, because a lot of people there smoke. And there�s nothing like a smoke break after 5 hours of nagging, whiny and stupid customers who leave you 8% on a $300 bill and should basically just throw themselves off a cliff onto jagged, pointy rocks so that the world would be rid of their ignorance!!!
I think I need a smoke.
But no, that would be bad. And I�m trying to be good�I�m trying so hard. The mornings aren�t so bad, it�s the afternoon that gets me. But it�ll be alright. I can do this.
And if not, there�s a Becker�s down the street where the shopkeeper knows my brand.
